A Very Warriors Halloween
by The Blue Winged Angel
Summary: In a late, late, late Halloween one-shot, ThunderClan has brought the rest of the Clans to an auditorium for their epical Halloween Special. With tensions, romance, and, um... tensions springing up everywhere, will ThunderClan make it through the show?


**A/N: Welcome to the BIG FAT UPDATE! Today, I update all of my stories (except, obviously, the oneshots, as well as Darkest before the Dawn and Flying Free on account of the fact that I didn't have time to finish the new chapters for those) and post two one-shots, one funny, one dark. This is the funny one! Thus, enjoy!**

**Also, fun fact: I meant to post this on Halloween, actually, but a glitch ensured it didn't happen. Only a week ago did I realize nothing happened, so it got lumped into the BIG FAT UPDATE.**

"WELCOME!" said the disembodied voice as lights swept around the stage.

The cats at the Gathering looked at each other confusedly. They'd heard that ThunderClan was going to put on a show for Halloween, singing a song or some such, but sending them all on a field trip, renting a theater and hiring a disembodied voice seemed a bit much for only one song.

"Now introducing our hosts... BRAMBLECLAW..!" the disembodied voice began.

Brambleclaw strolled out on stage. "Hello!" he said brightly. A few cats in the back applauded.

Tigerstar roared, "Applaud for my son or die!"

Every cat in the audience clapped as hard as they could, wolf whistling and screaming their lungs off.

"...and SQUIRRELFLIGHT!" the disembodied voice continued. Squirrelflight walked out on stage.

"OK srsly? BC hez totes a jerk," she said.

"What? How am I a jerk?" Brambleclaw demanded.

"U broke up w/ me 4 like no rezn," Squirrelflight said.

"Your chatspeaking was about half the reason," he replied. Squirrelflight simply rolled her eyes. Brambleclaw turned back to the audience. "Anyways, with or without my ex here, I'm super excited for this! Now let me introduce our very special guest stars tonight..."

"Firstly, Blackstar!" Brambleclaw shouted.

Blackstar walked out on stage as his deputy stared confusedly at the empty space in Blackstar's seat. Hadn't the ShadowClan leader just been sitting there?

"2, Mistystar!" Squirrelflight said, waving about pom-poms that the props person had thrown to her.

Mistystar walked out on stage and waved.

"Third, Bella Swan!" Brambleclaw said.

The infamous protagonist of Twilight walked out on stage to catcalling and booing.

"4, 1star!" Squirrelflight said.

Onestar ran out on stage grinning widely.

"Finally, Taylor Swift!" Brambleclaw said, frowning at the singer. Her association with country and yet her overwhelming popularity confused him.

Taylor Swift walked onstage.

"Let's hear a round of applause for these cats and people!" Brambleclaw said. The audience applauded, and Cloudtail ushered the guest stars back offstage.

…

Berrynose, who was wearing a white tux with a red bow tie, came out on stage. "Is it my turn yet?"

"NO!" Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight both said, and then they looked, embarrassed, at each other.

"Well when is it my turn?!" Berrynose whined.

"Ur not till rite B4 the big musical finish," Squirrelflight explained.

"But I wanna go now!" Berrynose said.

"Cloudtail?" Brambleclaw said.

Cloudtail ushered the whiny Berrynose offstage.

…

"And now it's time for...!" Brambleclaw said.

"Trick-or-treating!" Squirrelflight finished.

"Dovewing and our very special guest Onestar will play the trick-or-treaters, while Graystripe, Hazeltail, and Spiderleg will answer the doors. Enjoy!" Brambleclaw said. He and Squirrelflight stepped offstage for a moment as the curtains dropped and a brief bathroom break was called.

When they came back up, the set was totally revamped. There was now a generically spooky painted background, with a black haunted castle on a hill, purple sky, giant full moon, various bats and pumpkins, and a wrought iron fence. There were also three extremely makeshift wooden houses sitting in a row.

"1star will be going as da Lone Star state," Squirrelflight announced from offstage. Onestar stepped onstage with a large, purple foam cutout of Texas strapped to him.

"Dovewing will be going as Gandhi," Brambleclaw said. "Because dove is in her name, and doves are peace, and peace is Gandhi." Dovewing stepped onstage wearing a skullcap and that thing that Gandhi wore.

"Dont xplain the joke Bramblez," Squirrelflight said.

"Let the trick-or-treating begin!" Brambleclaw said, ignoring his former mate.

Dovewing and Onestar walked up to the first house and knocked on the door. Hazeltail answered, dressed in a stripperrific witch costume.

"Wow Hazeltail, just wow," Dovewing said, shaking her head.

"Trick or treat!" Onestar added.

Hazeltail pulled a lever next to her. "Trick!" she cackled as an ice-cold bucket of water was dumped on Dovewing and Onestar's heads.

Then she handed them some candy. "I got chocolate, sweet!" Dovewing said.

"I got a rock," Onestar said glumly.

They headed to the next house and knocked. "I'm answering without my costume okay?" Graystripe's voice called.

"Okay," Dovewing and Onestar said.

Graystripe answered the door in a floor-length pink prom dress.

"Trick or treat!" Dovewing and Onestar said. Then Onestar paused.

"Wait, Graystripe, you're a crossdresser?!" Onestar exclaimed.

Graystripe scowled. "Trick!" he said. He pulled a lever next to him and watched as a shower of lava was bestowed upon Dovewing and Onestar. Their costumes were ruined by now.

Graystripe handed them some candy. "Yum, Skittles!" Dovewing said.

"I got glitter glue," Onestar said, confused.

The two bedraggled trick-or-treaters went to the next house, where they knocked on the door. Spiderleg answered in a Hollywood level, extremely gory zombie costume.

"Spiderleg, this was supposed to be TV-PG," Dovewing said. "You've bumped the rating up at least one level."

"Like Hazeltail didn't do that with her costume," Spiderleg replied.

"Trick or treat?" Onestar said tentatively.

"Trick! Trick!" Spiderleg cackled. He threw the switch next to him and bats poured down from the ceiling and fluttered around Dovewing and Onestar. Then he gave them some candy.

"Oooh, marshmallows!" Dovewing said.

"Googly eyes?" Onestar said, confuzzled. Then he stuck all of his things together. "I got a pet rock!"

The curtains closed and Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight came back out on stage. "That was Trick-or-treat with Dovewing..." Brambleclaw began.

"& our super spefful guest 1star!" Squirrelflight finished.

…

Berrynose snuck back out on stage. "Is it my turn yet?" he asked.

"Berynose shaddap," Squirrelflight said.

He kept whining as Cloudtail took him offstage again.

…

"And now to bring some culture to this cultural wasteland," Brambleclaw said, immediately greeting by booing in the audience. After all, who was he to say McDonalds, Spongebob, and the Song That Never Ends weren't culture?

"Romeo & his gal Juliet, presented by da TC Arts Council, and Blackstar," Squirrelflight announced.

"Romeo and Juliet will be played by Jayfeather and Sandstorm," Brambleclaw said. The pair walked onstage wearing Victorian-era clothes (that had been picked up at the local steampunk store and promptly been stripped of gears) and looking none too happy about their roles.

"Brighthart will B that chick Romeo used 2 luv, Rosanne I think," Squirrelflight said. Brightheart stepped onstage with a tentative smile, with a similar outfit to 'Romeo' and 'Juliet'.

"Birchfall will be the guy who gave Romeo the sleep potion," Brambleclaw said. Birchfall walked out on stage costumed out and ready to roll.

"Our supes spefful guest star BlackStar will be Prince.. Prince... cant read the name lets callim Prince Escalator," Squirrelflight said. Blackstar stepped onstage in a Dracula costume sans fangs.

"And Icecloud will be everyone from Montague, Lionblaze everyone from that other family," Brambleclaw said. Icecloud and Lionblaze stepped out also costumed out.

"Let the/da show begin!" Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight said together and they walked offstage.

Everyone but Icecloud and Lionblaze followed.

"Thou Montagues are like, soo dumb!" Lionblaze said.

"Thou unnamed family are dumber!" Icecloud shot back.

"Fight fight fight fight!" shouted the audience. Weapons were passed out.

Lionblaze brandished his shiny new sword. "Now I shall cut-eth you in half!"

"Oh yeah? And I shall- wait why does he get a sword and I get a sparkly pink ribbon?!" Icecloud said in disbelief.

"Because nobody likeths the Montague except Montagues!" Lionblaze said.

Blackstar came running in. "Hey!" he said.

Icecloud and Lionblaze fell to their knees. "Mighty Prince Escalator-eth. Thy thou thee," they said. They needed to reach their "old-fashioned words" quota, after all.

"Thou shalleth stopeth fightingeth in my sight! Eth!" Blackstar shouted. "Oreth Ieth shalleth cutteth alleth ofeth thoueths headeths offeth!"

"Thy is right, we'll stop fighting until we leave your sight," Icecloud said.

"You- err, thee didn't use the grammer right," Lionblaze said.

"Shut up," Icecloud said. Blackstar cleared offstage and Jayfeather and Brightheart came on.

"Oh Roseanne, I am so totes in love-eth with you. I'll never leave you," Jayfeather said in a monotone.

Brightheart giggled.

Then Sandstorm walked onstage. Jayfeather started towards her, but a chair flew up from under the floor and not able to see it, he tripped on it and began swearing. The show's rating was bumped up.

All the cats onstage laughed and pointed at Jayfeather. "Blind-y! Blind-y!" they shouted.

Once they were done and he was untangled from the chair he went over to Sandstorm. "Juliet, you're hot," he said.

"Romeo, so are you," Sandstorm said.

"Let's get married," Jayfeather said.

"Yes!" Sandstorm said.

Everyone left but Jayfeather, and Birchfall came on.

"Clerk Birchfall, I'm going to get married, to Juliet," Jayfeather began.

"Isn't forbidden love a bit overdone?" Birchfall said, but Jayfeather talked over him.

"I want to get a sleeping potion, and it should seem like I'm dead," Jayfeather said.

"And how is that going to help your marriage?" Birchfall said.

"It just will. Trust me," Jayfeather said. Birchfall handed him the potion and he drank it, then fell over fast asleep.

Sandstorm came back on as Birchfall left. "Oh no, my husband-to-be has died! I'll commit suicide. That'll fix everything," she said as she scribbled out a suicide note. Then she stabbed herself. The rating was bumped again.

Jayfeather sat up. "My fiance is dead. Oh, no," he said, not even pretending to emote. Then he stabbed himself as well.

Icecloud and Lionblaze came in. "I guess we shouldn't have had a petty argument after all, these kids commited suicide because of it," Lionblaze said.

"Are you sure? To me it looks like they died fighting to the end. Romeo always was a good Montague... err, unless he was yours, I don't really remember," Icecloud said, hiding the suicide note behind her back.

"Oh, that's a much better explanation. En garde!" Lionblaze said, and he launched himself at her. The curtain went down and Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight came out again holding hands.

"Everyone, Romeo and Juliet!" Brambleclaw said. The audience applauded.

…

"Is it my turn now? I have a really great poem picked out," Berrynose said. "The Odyssey!"

"NO!" Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight said together.

"How about the Illi-" Berrynose began.

"Nuttin longer den 1 page!" Squirrelflight said quickly.

Berrynose pouted as Cloudtail ushered him offstage.

…

"& now itz WITCHING TIME!" Squirrelflight exclaimed.

"That is, the magic show from Ivypool (the closest thing to an antagonist this is going to get) her helper Briarlight and her attractive test subject Toadstep!" Brambleclaw clarified.

The curtains parted again. The background is now dark and a large cauldron sits in the middle. Ivypool walked out towards it, followed by Briarlight who had bought a wheelchair with the proceedings from the admissions tickets, and Toadstep.

"Okay," Ivypool said, rolling up her nonexistent sleeves. "Briarlight, please bring out the large jar and the samurai sword."

Briarlight looked up from her texting. "Yah, sure," she said, rolling off to get them.

"Wait what are you going to do?" Toadstep exclaimed.

"Don't worry, attractive test subject," Ivypool said. "You'll see soon."

Toadstep gulped.

Then Briarlight brought out the jar and swords. She threw them at Ivypool, who just barely caught them without killing herself.

"Get in the jar," Ivypool commanded of Toadstep. He gulped again and obeyed.

Ivypool put the lid on and turned to the audience. "Here's the trick- I'm going to stick the sword through that jar, but when Toadstep gets out he will be miraculously unscathed! Got it? Let's go!"

FIVE MINUTES LATER

After the rating being bumped several times, someone got the idea to call the hospital. Toadstep was in the ER.

Briarlight was posting to Twitter, "OMG guy almost died in magic show :O #Scary #ScaredSelfie #MagicShow #WarriorsHalloweenSpecial" with a selfie of her looking scared attached.

Ivypool was talking to Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight. "What do you mean my segment's getting pulled?! It was exciting!" she said.

"Ivypool, Toadstep is in Intensive Care now," Brambleclaw said.

"So?!" Ivypool demanded. "I'll get my revenge. If you cut off my segment, I'll cut off the whole show!" She cackled evilly as Cloudtail ushered her offstage.

…

"What about now?" Berrynose said, poking his head out. Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight shouted him back offstage.

…

"& now 4 our 1st song of da nite!" Squirrelflight announced.

"The Song of the Romantic Subplot She-cats will be performed by Millie, Daisy, Sorreltail, Cinderheart, and Poppyfrost," Brambleclaw said. "Oh, by the way, if you don't want to hear the author indulge herself by writing a song and describing placement of bridges, verses, etc, then you can skip to the next event. She won't be offended."

"Go, girlz!" Squirrelflight said as they walked offstage.

The aforementioned she-cats walked onstage as a piano began to play a plaintive tune.

"I've always been only a subplot," Millie began.

"Never been able to be myself," Daisy sang.

"Only there for the romance," Sorreltail said.

"I am a romantic subplot she-cat," Poppyfrost said.

"But not today..." Cinderheart sang.

The stopped for a moment as the piano grew more intensified and a synth was added.

"Only a kittypet," Millie sang.

"Only a kittypet," the others sang backup.

"Only there for him," Millie said.

"Only there for him..."

"I am only..."

"I am only..."

"A romantic subplot she-cat."

"A romantic subplot she-cat."

They all sang together for the chorus, with an electric guitar and some drums:

"I'm the subplot,

I'm the romance,

I'm what ties the threads together.

I'm the extra,

I'm out of the way,

But not today!"

"I was just a kit machine," Daisy sang.

"Just a kit machine," the others sang.

"I'm just one of the queens."

"One of the queens."

"I am only..."

"I am only..."

"A romantic subplot she-cat."

"A romantic subplot she-cat."

They sang the chorus together, and then Sorreltail stepped forward.

"I was there to tie up the loose ends," she sang.

"Tying up loose ends," the other sang.

"Or being a nice mate; it depends."

"It depends."

"I am only..."

"I am only..."

"A romantic subplot she-cat."

"A romantic subplot she-cat."

They sang chorus, and then it was Cinderheart's turn.

"They told me I was great," she sang.

"I was great," the others sang.

"I was Cinderpelt, I was important."

"I was important."

"But then I became..."

"But then I became..."

"A romantic subplot she-cat."

"A romantic subplots she-cat."

When suddenly, Ivypool fell in through the ceiling! She replaced the guitar with an acoustic, the drums with clapping, the synth with voices, and the piano, with, well, nothing.

Suddenly, the song had turned to a country song! It looked like the show might have to be canceled as the audience started booing and throwing trash at the she-cats.

Then Taylor Swift jumped onstage, and with her help the she-cats managed to keep going strong.

Then Taylor Swift left and Ivypool was carted off.

The she-cats blasted through another chorus before Poppyfrost stepped forward to sing.

"After my sister died there was a loose end," she sang.

"A loose end," the others sand.

"So I was to tie it up."

"Tie it up."

"I was nothing more than..."

"Nothing more than..."

"A romantic subplot she-cat."

They blasted through another chorus, then waited as a guitar solo acted as a bridge. Then they split into two groups: Poppyfrost, Millie, and Daisy, (group 1) and Sorreltail and Cinderheart. (group 2)

"Until today, I was a romantic subplot she-cat!" Group 1 sang.

"Until today, until today, I could never be me!" Group 2 sang.

"But not, today, for today I am myself!" Group 1 sang.

"But not, for now, for now I'll be me!" Group 2 sang.

All together they sang another chorus and then bowed out as the instruments faded out.

Then Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight walked onstage, Brambleclaw with a lipstick mark on his cheek.

Brambleclaw waved around a giant flag that said, "IF YOU SKIPPED THE SONG, SCROLL TO HERE."

Squirrelflight said, "Oh BTW theyre makin a band its called Romantic Subplot She-cats after der 1st song chek it out."

…

"Guys, guys, I wrote a poem! It's to Poppyfrost. It goes, 'I don't think you're a romantic subplot-'" Berrynose began.

"Berrynose GET OFFSTAGE AND WAIT UNTIL IT'S YOUR TURN!" Brambleclaw yelled. Cloudtail ushered Berrynose offstage.

…

"Now we will parody the extremely popular, wonderful, fantastic- WARRIORS!" Brambleclaw said, and the audience roared with approval.

"This skit'll feat. Foxleap as Firestar lol," Squirrelflight said.

"Our very special guest Mistystar, as Bluestar," Brambleclaw said.

"Graystripe as Dovewing," Squirrelflight said.

"Thornclaw as Lionblaze," Brambleclaw said.

"Dovewing as Jayfeather," Squirrelflight said.

"And finally, I will portray my father Tigerstar," Brambleclaw said.

Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw walked offstage and Mistystar and Foxleap walked on.

"Hey, random cat! Join our Clan?" Mistystar said.

"Definitely! Despite the fact that I have no warrior training, that's a great idea," Foxleap agreed.

"Cool, follow me," Mistystar said. She walked offstage and Brambleclaw came back on.

"I don't like you," Brambleclaw said.

"Bite me," Foxleap said.

"He doesn't like you either," Brambleclaw said, making a Star Wars reference. Foxleap did not get the joke, so he said, "But I DON'T LIKE YOU."

"Again, bite me," Foxleap said.

Graystripe walked onstage holding a sign that said, "Four long book serieses later" and then walked off.

"You're dead now," Foxleap said. He pulled out a very-clearly-fake gun and pointed it at Brambleclaw. "BLAM BLAM!" he yelled. Brambleclaw fell over and pretended to be dead.

Suddenly, out of nowhere a giant paper-mache tree fell on Foxleap!

Thornclaw, Graystripe, and Dovewing rushed out, Graystripe wearing rainbow contact lenses.

"Oh no, he's dead!" Graystripe said.

"Never fear, the Firestar expy is here!" Thornclaw said proudly.

"I'm still blind," Dovewing said.

Mistystar descended from the rafters on a 'floating platform'.

"The en-" she began, but the strings holding up the platform were cut! Then Ivypool fell to the ground cackling.

"Cloudtail, do something!" everyone cried out in fear.

The ever-brave and faithful Cloudtail ran forward and ushered the mad she-cat away.

Mistystar sat up. "The end," she finished.

Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight walked on with his arm around her shoulders. "That's it! Now for a commercial break," he said.

"TTYL!" Squirrelflight added cheerfully.

…

After the commercial, Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight hastened to put their clothes on.

"Right now is Cooking with the Kits," Brambleclaw said. "Come on, Squirrels, let's get offstage." The two of them left.

Lilykit, Seedkit, Amberkit, Snowkit, and Dewkit walked onstage.

"Hello and welcome to cooking with the kits! Today Lilykit and I will be the hands. Dewkit will make up a recipe name, Snowkit will tell us what ingredients to get, and Amberkit will tell us how to prepare them. Today on Cooking with the Kits!" Seedkit announced.

A kitchen set dropped down from the sky.

"Ummm, make Evil Doom Sandwiches of Doom," Dewkit said. He grinned

Lilykit and Seedkit exchanged glances. "Snowkit sweetie, ingredients...?" Lilykit said tentatively.

Snowkit came back from talking to Ivypool and produced a bottle clearly marked 'Poison'. "This oil, cookie dough, pepper, liver, onions, ketchup, and honey," she said proudly.

Lilykit gulped as she gathered the specified ingredients.

"OK you two, Seedkit make the cookies from the cookie dough, add lots of honey. Then also make two slices of cookie-dough-bread and set it aside." Amberkit said. "Lilykit, chop up the onions and pour ketchup on them."

The two she-cats did as asked as the three younger kits giggled.

"Now Seedkit put the cookies on a Bunsen burner. If they catch on fire that's a good thing. Then go to warm up the liver," Amberkit said. "Lilykit, mix up the ketchup-onions with some more honey."

When that was done, Amberkit said, "Seedkit smash the cookies with that mallet over there. Lilykit, sprinkle the onions and their saucey stuff over the liver."

Then, "Seedkit sprinkle the cookies on the liver. Now Lilykit pour on the oil."

"Amberkit, you forgot the pepper," Snowkit said.

The amber she-kit nodded. "Just a sec. You two done? Okay, add pepper!"

Finally, Amberkit instructed, "Now put the result on the cookie-dough-bread."

Lilykit and Seedkit, after negotiating money amounts that they each had to pay to the bribe to the FDA for not getting involved, picked up the sandwich and held it out to the audience.

"And that is how you make Evil Doom Sandwiches of Doom," Lilykit said, looking sick to her stomach. "That's it, folks!" Wisely, she and Seedkit did not include the segment where they ate the concoction.

Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight came back onstage as the kitchen set was rolled away and the kits left the stage.

"All right kits! Please never do that again," Brambleclaw said.

…

"& now for da moment yall been waiting 4, lets kill Bella Swan every1!" Squirrelflight announced. The same cauldron from Witching Time was rolled in, now full of lava. Bella Swan was carried in, gagged and tied up, by Hollyleaf and Mousewhisker.

"Everyone hates Bella except those who are criminally insane, so me and Mousewhisker's segment consists of killing our spefful guest star," Hollyleaf said. "Ready Mousewhisker?"

"Always," Mousewhisker replied. The two cats heaved Bella into the lava, where she burned.

"Short but satisfying," Brambleclaw said.

…

"And now it's time for... storytime with Purdy!" Brambleclaw said. This got boos from the audience.

Purdy walked up onstage with a smile. "Oh, this ain't any old story. This is the ice-cream story."

Some cats quieted, knowing the story or wanting to hear it. Others got up for a prolonged bathroom break while others kept booing.

"So there was this girl. She was perfectly normal and nice; around 14, lived with her parents and little sister. So one day her parents go out to dinner and leave the girl to babysit her sister.

"The two go down to play video games in the basement and are having a good time when the little sister asks the girl to go up and get some ice cream for her. The girl thinks it's a good idea and says yes. So she goes upstairs, passes by the window and gets some ice cream for her sister.

"They have a good time for a bit, but the little sister says that she wants some chocolate sauce. So the girl goes upstairs. She gets the chocolate sauce, but when she passes by the window again she sees a girl standing there, holding a knife.

"She goes downstairs and pretends to be calm, not wanting to scare her sister. It was probably a teenage prankster; the girl looked around her age anyways. They have a good time for a bit and then the little sister asks for marshmallows. The girl wouldn't normally get them but the phone is upstairs so if anything happens she can call 9-1-1.

"She goes upstairs, gets the marshmallows, and stops at the window."

Ivypool jumped down from the ceiling, landing on Purdy's head. He swiped at her, hissing. "Cloudtail!" everyone cried in fear, and the brave usher ushered Ivypool away.

"Drat," Ivypool said, twirling an nonexistent mustache, "foiled again."

Purdy continued his story.

"The girl in the window is now covered in blood.

"She quickly grabs the phone and goes running downstairs, terrified for her life and her sister's, and there she finds her little sister's body all mangled. She hides behind the couch and calls 9-1-1, and soon the police arrive.

"When they get there they check the place out and find no bloody girl, so the girl shows them around and tells them what happened and where it happened. She finally shows them the window she saw the girl in, and they turn to her and say- 'That's not a window. That's a mirror.'"

Everyone is silent.

…

"Am I on now? I wrote another poem about how awesome I am, but it's just a haiku so I can probably fit it in-" Berrynose said

"Berrynose ur rite now," Squirrelflight said. Berrynose became paralyzed with joy, literally. Cloudtail carted him off.

SEVERAL MINUTES LATER

Berrynose stood proudly on stage. "First, I shall read the haiku of my life," he said.

"I am so awesome

That I don't have to make sense

Refrigerator."

There was a smattering of polite applause from the audience.

Poppyfrost was brought out on stage as Berrynose brought out his other poem, 'Ode to Poppyfrost'.

He began.

"I don't think you're a romantic subplot she-cat Poppyfrost,

Because I think you are the best she-cat.

I think you are really pretty,

And really really really witty.

I think you are always calm,

Even during a big fat stor-ahm.

I think you are great with kits,

And nice and good at yelling at gits.

Poppyfrost, you're the best she-cat,

Even if you're kinda fat," Berrynose read proudly.

Poppyfrost, who had been smiling and looking lovestruck at Berrynose this whole time, burst into tears when she heard the 'fat' line, screamed, "You're such a -censored- -censored-!" and ran offstage. Berrynose stared after her, confused, and then Cloudtail ushered him offstage.

"Berrynose, everyone," Brambleclaw said dryly.

…

The cats all scrambled onto the stage, even Ivypool, who after a heated talk with Firestar (who was the executive producer and had threatened not to pay her if she didn't stop sabotaging the show) had joined the good side, and Cloudtail, who was excused from his ushering duties to join in the musical finale.

They lined up and started singing the most epic rock ballad ever, 'Bohemian Rhapsody.' The author unfortunately does not own the song and therefore, according to the Content Guidelines, cannot give you the lyrics of it or anything like that, however going and listening to the Muppets version would give you an idea of how it went down.

The cats bowed, and the curtains dropped to roaring applause.

The disembodied voice shouted, "AND THAT'S GOOD NIGHT!"

**A/N: This was so much fun to write, and I hope you had just as much fun reading it.**

**So now that you're done... review, and read my other updated stories! :) Ta-ta now!**


End file.
